I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize