when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He better not be in your backpack
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
