They should really pass out barf bags in church
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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