I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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