Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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