Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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