My brain says no but my pants say off.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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