his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
