he wants to bone in the snuggie
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
