i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
