It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
