How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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