hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
