There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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