Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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