Its about making memories worth repressing
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
