Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My breasts were aching with rage.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
