so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
