from now on my penis is your penis
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
