I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
