Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Slut skills are useful in every country.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
