You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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