glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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