It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
