Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
