you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
if only i could text you this smell
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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