he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize