And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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