all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
