i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize