did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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