yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
are you so shy because you have an std?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
