We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
