Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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