I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
