'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
