If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
