bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
