she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
