I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
