im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
