how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
