big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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