Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
