what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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