I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
