this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think your dad took our porno
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
