The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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