I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize