How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
