he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize