My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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