We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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