gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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