K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
