I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
