fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
