Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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