i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize