girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
